News from CERN: Revenge of the Higgs

News from CERN: Revenge of the Higgs

The Large Hadron Collider is, depending on who you ask, either the pinnacle of human engineering, or ALMOST the pinnacle of human engineering. You’d be hard pressed to find somebody who would consider putting it outside the “Top 5″, unless they haven’t heard of it.

While the LHC hasn’t destroyed the earth yet, it has gone on to fuel scientific debate, ranging from advancements towards M-Theory to general loads of crock.

This is the story of the latter type.

The Higgs Boson is a theoretical particle that has never been witnessed before. It has been referred to as “The God Particle”, and would help explain how things obtain mass in the universe. Provided, of course, the LHC is even capable of producing them at all.

Here’s where Dr. Holger Bech Nielsen and Dr. Masao Ninomiya come into play. Their theory is that the LHC is being sabotaged. But it’s not just being sabotaged. It’s being sabotaged from the future.

And who’s behind it all? The Higgs Boson itself.

The theory is that the Higgs Boson is such an abhorrent particle that it doesn’t want to exist in the universe. And no, I’m not talking the way a high school chemistry teacher says that a compound with a full outer electron shell becomes,  “happy”. These scientists are saying, or at least implying, that the Higgs Boson has some sort of sentience that prevents it from existing.

They propose an experiment. You make a deck of 100 million cards. 1 of those cards is a Kill Card that says the LHC should be shut down. The others say the LHC is fine. If you draw the Kill Card, (and closing the LHC is within your power to do so), then that would be proof that the Higgs Boson is interfering with the present through the future to prevent itself from being discovered.

I’m usually in favor of new scientific theories, but I can’t be the only one who thinks this is absolutely insane.

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